


Written In The Stars

by mundanefinality



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Betrayal, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Coping, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mild Sexual Content, Multi, Other, this is how i cope now, very slow
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-12 04:00:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29878743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mundanefinality/pseuds/mundanefinality
Summary: Astraea Charles lived her life with her eyes closed to the truth. Everyday as she gazed out on the setting sun, she is reminded of the pain and her life dedicated in service to the dreams of the people around her.
Relationships: Levi Ackerman & Original Female Character(s), Reiner Braun/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	1. Prologue

_There was screaming._

She paid no attention to it.

_There was a loud roar._

She barely moved her head at the sound of it.

Astraea could only look at the retreating figures from afar. She longed to chase after them but the pain on her shoulder kept her knees rooted on the ground. Her mouth dropped to scream but all that came out was a harsh croak.

Her fist tightened, was she angry? Frustrated? Sad? She honestly did not know.

With all her strength, she stood to dart her grapple past the walls. But a strong, wire screech stopped her. Her fingers tapped on the empty canister and her face fell into an ugly grimace. Lips trembling, her eyes desperately scanned the horizon.

They were gone now.

She swore she saw which direction they took. If she could borrow one of her comrade’s canisters she could chase after them. Sun harsh against her skin, her throat ached. That damned steam.

A frustrated scream left her mouth as her knees buckled and she collapsed once again.

Astraea felt useless. She could’ve chased after them but she stupidly ran her gas out in anger as she scaled the wall. Now they are gone. Left behind without getting the closure she deserved.

It felt hours have passed since she fell to her knees. She hadn’t noticed it but the wind was harsher up here than it was anywhere inside the walls. She spent the past hour or so blaming herself for getting her emotion up her head and not being able to do her duty. She wondered how she would face her comrades at her failure.

Someone called out her name. She froze and debated on running. But her knees ached, her body ached, everything ached-

“Astraea.” He whispered. He was already behind her, she didn’t have the strength to look at him. All she did was sigh and remained her gaze out on the horizon. “Are you alright?”

When she didn’t respond, he knelt beside her. He nudged her gently to awaken her from her trance. But she was aware of his presence, Astraea chose to ignore him. Guilt seeping through her trembling lips.

“Hey,” he tried again. He took hold of her shoulders, she winced. Seeing her wince, he let go immediately, his normally blank face had fallen into a frown. His eyes brimmed with worry. “You’re hurt, can you move?”

“Captain,” She whispered helplessly. She swallowed to prevent the sob threatening to spill from her lips. He gently grabbed her so she wasn’t dangling dangerously close to the edge. Her lower lip caught between her teeth, eyes brimming with tears. “I wasn’t able to stop them. They moved fast and I ran out of-”

“It’s okay,” He said quickly. His eyes darted from her injured shoulder and her eyes. Her breath started to quicken and he much feared having her faint there. “You’re hurt, don’t worry about it. I wish I could’ve chased after them too.”

Though her breathing calmed, her mind was still running. Filled with a thousand ‘what-ifs’.

“Come here,” he coaxed gently. “Is your shoulder dislocated or broken?”

“Dislocated.”

He nodded and gently tilted her chin to make her face him. “I will fix it and it might hurt so keep your eyes on me.” He tossed her uninjured arm on his shoulder. “You can squeeze tight on mine if it hurts, okay?”

Their eyes met, equally tired eyes met his dark, grey ones. He got to work immediately, massaging her shoulders looking for the joints. She leaned forward burrowing her face on his shoulder trying to push the unsettling feeling of her bones moving.

She didn’t cry out but a soft gasp came out as he pushed one last time and they both heard a satisfying click. He held her head as she tried to regain composure. When she pulled away there was already a striking difference to her.

“Come on, you need to get that wrapped up.” He whispered, making a move to head to where their comrades are. “You can rest by the gate.”

She nodded, but her gaze was still up ahead of the horizon.

Astraea made a silent promise that when they meet again, she will not be a failure. When they meet again, and she is sure that they will, she will not hesitate in taking them down.

For now, all that there is left is to regain and gain more strength.  
“Astraea.”

The voice was not reprimanding. Gentle? No...it was tired. They were tired. She felt fatigue settle on her injured shoulder. Straining as she tried to make it relax. He was calling out to her, go to him. Go to him, she kept convincing herself.

Everything was quiet save for the loud thumping in her heart. She was going to make them pay. She will make her survival their problem and she was sure to make it happen. Her fist tightened as her unwavering glare remained out on the direction they went.

Feeling accomplished with her newfound resolve, she looked back at the captain and let out a languid smile before following him.


	2. That Fated Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That fated day five years ago

845

Grey. Hard. Menacing. Those were the words that ran through her mind looking at the grandeur that is The Walls. For as long as she breathed, that was all that she knew. Did she long to know what was outside? Oh, she wasn’t certain. As young as she was she knew she had the power to will it if she wished for it. But for now, she longed to watch and observe.

Life inside the walls had been a perfect mixture bland and interesting. As much as the ignorance of the people is concerned, all they do is survive and try to maximize the resources allowed. But life was good here, there was no comparison to be made. It was illegal to go outside anyways.

Just in the outer district of Shiganshina, Astraea Charles, looked outside her bedroom window wondering what time her father would come home. She brushed her thick hair as she watched the people go about their days, she saw merchants coming home with tired smiles on their faces. Greeted by their families.

Her mind drifted off to what else she could do to complete her day. All her chores were done, all her readings were done, all that she needed to do were all done for. All that there is to do is wait for her father’s return.

Being just eleven years of age, Astraea already strived to make her and her father’s lives better. It was just her and her father, Astraea’s mother passed away when she was just two years old due to a plague. The doctor was not able to cater to her mother and was too late to save her.

Her father was a merchant who sold and traded in the inner district while she stayed behind and read the books her father was able to buy from the traders inside. Mr. Jonah Charles worked hard to help his daughter become well-read and indeed, she did just as he wished.

The sun was already painting the sky orange and blue when her father arrived, she strained to see his approaching figure slowed down by the load of his products. Astraea quickly ran out to greet and help her father. He smiled and waved then stopped. He patted her head lovingly as she took his load from him.

Her father was a kind and gentle man only if he wasn’t punching Garrison Soldiers. When Astraea first heard her father do that, she could hardly believe it.

It was rare for her father to lose his cool.

“How was the district, papa?” She asked, as they walked back to their house. Her face had a coy smile, her feet stomping by the door to remove some dirt on her shoes. “Punch anyone today?”

“No, Astraea…” Jonah said in a scolding tone, though the smile on his face was unmistakable. He huffed as they ascended the stairs, “It was alright, I have sold enough to last us for a week so I shouldn’t hurry to go back tomorrow.”

Astraea nodded as she set down the remaining inventory, she quickly grabbed a glass and jug of water for her father. Jonah thanked her and drank, cool water streamed his parched throat.

“Anything interesting happen out there?” Astraea prompted, she was hoping her father would tell her a story. It was getting repetitive and she wanted something to happen.

Her father chuckled, “Not really, you ought to join me next time if you are so sick of being at home all the time.”

It was in the middle of summer. Astraea didn’t have studying to do, she always mentions how school inside the district is so difficult not because of what they study but instead, because of the people inside. Astraea hated the crowd, she hated the noise.

Astraea huffed and rolled her eyes, “Well I don’t really like it there, it’s so cramped and noisy. Besides, no one would clean and cook if I would join you.”

“It’s only for a day, dear.” Jonah said with a smile. “It wouldn't hurt for you to join me, plus if you want a book you can even pick it out instead of settling for what I chose, huh? You know I don’t even know what are the books I’m buying.”

Astraea thought for a moment, being attracted to the idea of being able to buy a book. She felt guilty, this might strain the money her father earned for them. Though she might hate it, she can accompany her father in the district. _One day wouldn’t hurt,_ she decided.

Jonah stood, “Oh, the only interesting thing that happened is the Scouts coming home from their expedition. Didn’t see them but I heard the bells…”

Astraea stopped short from listening to her father’s words, she can faintly hear bells. Those bells were only used to indicate two things. The arrival of the scouts and--

Her hand grasped her chest, her eyes closing to make the sound louder. People were screaming. Something was happening outside, Jonah stopped talking as well, he heard the screams too. They felt light tremors.

Titans?

Something in her gut told her she should move but her feet were planted on the floor.

“Papa,” she said, her voice shaking. “Something’s happening.”

She couldn’t move. Jonah, however, was quick to his feet, striding across the room and looked out the window. In an instant, her father whipped and grabbed her shoulders.

“Quick, Astraea, we need to go-.” Jonah whispered hurriedly. He made a quick grab of the coats and carried Astraea. “Something’s happened, we need to go.”

Her breath hitched, her father threw her over his shoulder. When they got outside, the screams had gotten louder. Astraea covered her ears with her palms and closed her eyes. The screams amplified and they echoed loud in her ears. High-pitched sounds tore through the skies, Astraea felt bile burst through her throat.

Jonah ran toward their stables and he quickly made work to attach the carriage on their horse. As Astraea stood still, her father called out to their neighbors. Women and children piled to ride on the carriage.

She stayed frozen. _What happened?_ Someone asked. _Titans got in the wall._ One answered. Garrison soldiers said it was kicked down. Someone yelled.

Titans? They broke through the walls. That was impossible-nothing has been able to breach the walls. _How were they able to even break through?_

She was carried and placed onto one of the carriages, her father following in tow to man the horse. He looked back at her before urging the horse to move forward. All the other men in their village were the same with their own carriages and people to evacuate with. They were lucky.

Their street was able to evacuate with the abundance of horses and carriages. Jonah steered the horse to lead them to safety. Astraea thought of the people inside the district. Her mouth remained gaped open as she watched a boat emerge from the walls. Feeling a sense of Some were able to evacuate. But suddenly-

The sound was guttural and ear-piercing. Her screams coincided with the crash of the gate, there was a low rumble. Astraea stumbled as her eyes caught sight of the source, it was a titan! It was big and muscular, armor seemed to have littered all over its abnormally large body. Steam emanated around it and left with the sight of the gaping hole of the wall. Astraea’s hand flew to her ears and her eyes closed to drown out what was happening all around her.

As their carriage marched on to the safe embrace of Wall Rose, her eyes shut close as the screams still echoed in her mind and heart.


	3. Five Years Later

_Astraea pulled at the hand grasping her arm roughly. She sunk her heels on the ground as the man dragged her across the small field. Her mouth opened to let out protests but he pushed her roughly toward the ground._

_“Get up.”_

_She refused. This is where she’s supposed to be…_

_Her hand grasped the grass beneath her looking for anything that can ground her to reality. His eyes regarded her with disgust, no, disappointment. She looked back at him unmoving._

_“Get up.” He repeated._

_“No.” She finally answered indignantly._

_He crouched down to meet her eye, she looked away staring at the grass. The wind kissed her skin sharply, she flinched but her gaze remained on the man in front of her. Her hands warm from the red liquid that coated her fingers._

_The wind wafted the scent to her nose, she gagged and wretched. He laughed lowly before letting out a low whistle. Her heart heavy and stained, she shook her hand watching the liquid thicken as it dried. She hung her head low. The moon glistened as if to mock her, her eyes closed as a tear dropped from her eye-_

850

Astraea eyes opened. Her heart pounded loudly as she sat up to gasp more air into her lungs, her hand clutched her chest tightly as she moved her head to scan her surroundings. Her fingers numbly wiped the drying tears that fell on her face. The light from the sun showered her room illuminating the wall clock that hung from the wall. _This grounded her._

She was in her room. _It’s been five years_. She comforted herself. The fall of Wall Maria happened five years ago and here she is, safe in the confines of Wall Sina.

She groaned and checked the time and spoke to herself, “Sounds about right.”

Astraea quickly went to take a bath, avoiding getting ogled at as she returned to her dorm room. She rolled her eyes and muttered how communal bathrooms were a bad idea.

“I ought to get myself a place.” She whispered to herself, her arms stretched to neatly fix her hair. She wore her uniform and stared at her reflection.

Her eyes looked tired, it made sense as she spent the night crying once again. Her fingers moved toward her face tracing the lines that sketched under her eye. She wondered how much it would take her to move out of the soldiers’ dorms and get a place all to herself.

“Yes,” A voice rang out. It was her roommate, Mia Browski, who was still lying down on the top bunk of their bed. “You ought to leave here, you’ve been a promising official to the MPs in just a year and yet, you still stay in the dorms. How...pathetic…”

Well there was one reason to stay.

Mia Browski was her classmate in the 103rd Class in the Eastern District. She stands taller than Astraea with fringy, brown curls always tied to a bun. During their training years, they were not close as Astraea often relished in her aloneness but as Astraea ranked first in her class and Mia following in second, they were assigned as roommates when they enlisted as Military Police Recruits.

Despite that, Astraea ranked higher than Mia.

Astraea quickly rose to her ranks thanks to her expertise during training, her wit was enough to gain her all the credit. Her knack to sit back and observe made her blend in well. She rose through it all, gaining plenty of snide remarks and snide gazes along the way. She pulled through from being a Private to being an Officer to the Commander of the Military Police.

“Good morning to you too, Mia.” Astraea said with a teasing smile. She took one glance at her reflection then back at Mia. Her roommate still had her hair tousled from sleep, eyes squinting to adjust to the light.

Through the year they spent living together, Mia came to realize that Astraea has a cheeky side to her which often complemented Mia’s no-nonsense attitude.

Astraea strode across the room and ruffled Mia’s hair some more, gaining an annoyed scowl and a smack on the hand. She pulled away and laughed, “Don’t worry, I’ll be out of your hair soon. See you later!” With that, she exited ignoring Mia’s onslaught of swearing.

Astraea walked the familiar route she always took whenever she was needed at HQ. On any other given day, she was just lounging. On some days, her missions were more obscure and long. She was often sent on missions to different districts, gathering intel. Her feet trudged on the newly built roads in the capital, she grimaced as she remembered that last time she visited the northern districts, with their roads in ruin but in the capital, one crack seen, the roads will be fixed the next day.

She had a half-day today, Commander Nile had requested to see her and after that she would have lunch with-

She stopped her tracks as she reached Commander Nile’s office, her hands balled into a fist as she stretched her arm to meet the heavy oak door, she knocked.

Commander Nile Dok is a man who loved to tread on the law. In her six months serving under the Commander’s squad, there were many things she had found out about him. Aside from his utter ignorance around the corruption that existed in the regiment, he is a family-man.

Despite her aloofness toward her commanding officer, he is the first one to defend her reputation. She is, after all, the youngest appointed official in the history of the regiment. In just six months since she graduated, she was quickly assigned to be part of his squad gaining a promotion along the way. Astraea often wondered how that came to be, she was just asked to survey in Karanes and when she returned she was being transferred to the Capital.

One of Astraea’s jobs is to cover for her commanding officer, this involves her being sent to Stohess. Coming in and knocking into their family home, she is quickly welcomed by Mrs. Marie Dok then treats her like she is family, offering her food and roof above her head whenever she is around. Astraea couldn’t help but relax her shoulders at their hospitality. After spending a day with his family, she would go back to the capital to reprimand her commander about spending time with his family.

A voice called out and when she entered, she quickly rendered a salute.

“Good morning, sir!” She said firmly. The Commander was doing a pile of paperworks, she glanced over and saw the words Interior Police on top.

“At ease,” Commander Nile said easily. His hands moved to cover the folder he was working on. He gestured for her to sit. She did as she was told. “This will be quick, as you know cadet graduations are just around the corner. Do the mandatory briefing and assessment.”

“Which division, sir?”

“Southern.”

Astraea took a shallow breath, the Southern Division, huh? Her heart skipped a beat. Astraea has been keeping a friendship-relationship with one of the cadets in the Southern Division. Honestly, she had no idea what it was but she loved spending time with him.

They met when she was sent to Trost for a mission. The cadets were sent to Trost to train Civilian Evacuation with the Garrison Regiment. Her mission was put on hold as Commander Pixis conducted a cook-off amongst the Trainees. Anka, one of the commander’s escorts and Astraea’s former classmate, couldn’t even begin explaining what was happening.

From his last letter, he mentioned that he finished second. A hope flickered in her heart, maybe he would join the MPs, but her hope dimmed as the remainders of the letter said that some of his friends were to join the survey corps. If he joins the Survey Corps then good for him.

“Although there might be a small change now, I heard from a...friend…” She bit her lip at this, her commander looked up almost immediately. “That there were a handful of cadets from the top ten who wanted to join the survey corps.”

As she mentioned this, the Commander closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. Astraea knew that in his Cadet days, he was set to join the Survey Corps along with his friend, the current Commander of the Survey Corps, Erwin Smith. Perhaps Nile Dok needed to be a little bit more selfish, and Astraea knew he didn’t regret an ounce of his decision.

He heaved a sigh, “More of those people,” he said tucking away a stack of paperwork. He looked like he wanted to say more but debated on it. “They graduated last night but regiment enlistment is in a week, I’d much rather you leave soon so you can observe them train and assess them by your standards.”

 _My standards._ Her eyes widened and her head turned to hide the heat growing on her face. Astraea’s eyes focused on the scribbles that were propped on the Commander’s side table. It was a scribble of a family, poorly drawn, she noted. She smiled, _from the Commander’s daughters._

Sensing her commanding officer’s gaze on her, she turned toward him and offered a firm nod. “Yes, sir. I will do as your orders, you can count on me.”

“I know I can.” He replied with a smile, the smile that Astraea often saw from his father. Her eyes closed for a brief moment before standing up as Commander Nile said, “Dismissed.”

Exiting the office, she sighed and her eyes fluttered shut. She scrunched her face as she tried to remember how the commander smiled at her, much like how her father smiled at him. Content with herself, she began to walk along the hallway. The light from the sun flooded through the large windows that littered the hallway. From the hall, she could clearly see the giant clock from the city square.

Astraea checked for the time, it was too early for her lunch. After a brief debate with herself, she decided to walk back to her dorm and change into more comfortable clothes. There was none to be done. She can pack her clothes so she can leave tomorrow, since Trost is not as far as it seems, she could just take the boat.

“Finally leaving me?”

She looked up at the sound of the voice, Mia just arrived at their dorm. She was not wearing her uniform so Astraea guessed that she did not have any duty for today.

“I am going on an assignment in Trost,” Astraea mused. She tied the strings of her bag and patted it down. Mia looked disinterested, shuffling a couple of envelopes on her hands. “To fetch recruits. I’m going a week early, boss-man said I should “assess” them by my own “standards”.”

Mia let out a short chuckle at Astraea’s tone.

“In Trost?” Mia asked. She took off her coat and looked at Astraea knowingly. “Isn’t that where your boyfriend’s division is?”

“Technically, he’s not my boyfriend…” Astraea started to protest.

Mia walked across the room and tossed an envelope on Astraea’s desk. Astraea fingers traced the edges of the envelope. She smiled as she opened the letter.

“Whatever,” Mia replied, she sat on her bed and took off her boots before climbing up the bunk to lie down once more. “You two write to each other, so that still counts to something, right? I, on the other hand, keep waiting for a letter from my sister but all I’m greeted with is a letter from your boyfriend.”

“You know how lonely training could be, don’t be like that,” Astraea reasoned. It wasn’t like it was an official relationship. They spent a day together and Astraea thought it was just that. Not until she received a letter from him just days after and ever since then, they wrote to each other. Ever since then, they tried to see each other as long as his schedule permitted it. Cadets hardly get the break they need. “Besides, in one of the letters it seems like he has a crush on one of his classmates-”

“You went on a date and he wrote you after.” Mia cut in, her voice muffled with the pillow she put over her face. Mia knew how much she swooned after this boy and Astraea’s denial was annoying her. Mostly because she knew Astraea wouldn’t give herself a chance for happiness. “Just take your win and read your damn letter.”

She looked back when they first met, he was so interested in getting to know her. He regarded her like she had the answer to the questions in his universe. He listened intently as she talked about her work and who she had to work for.

Astraea exhaled a laugh before she opened to read the letter. They were to go into active duty tomorrow, giving them a glance into the outside world from the training camps. Perfect. She was going to be assessing them and this exercise is perfect to see them all in action. He said that he was still unsure which regiment he would join, he would see how well their day goes tomorrow. But he was sure that his friend would be following him.

The letter finished with him wishing they would meet once again. Her heart fluttered in the only manner she knew only he could do, Astraea couldn’t find it in her heart to question what he did to her. She was loving who she was around him. Grasping her final attempts to seek security from someone else, she did what she always did, jump right off the deep end.

His signature was at the bottom of the page, she traced it and with a smile she whispered it to herself.

“Truly yours,” She whispered. “Reiner Braun.”


	4. Men and their Ability to Rip Women’s Heart Out

It is a hot afternoon today and in the capital it is especially so. The few structures that provide shade are the magnificent infrastructures that graced the high roads. There was nothing like this in Shiganshina, she mourned. In fact, There is no other place like the capital, while other districts and towns fight to survive, Capital Mitras survives as though nothing can hurt it.

Her feet took her to a narrow alley, she cursed the choice of restaurant. It was far and it was in the sketchy part of town, but regardless, her boots trudged against the cobblestones wet from the laundry water tossed onto the streets.

She stopped in front of the restaurant, and sighed. It was not like she was dreading this but whenever he called her there was always a favor to be asked. She entered slowly and looked around, from afar she already noticed him. There was no mistaking that grey hat.

This man saved him years ago, after her father was shipped on that vain attempt to reclaim Wall Maria, she hurried and snuck on merchant carriages and woke up in the capital. He found her working at a pub with a very handsy man as an owner. She employed his help and he was quick enough to give it to her.

Stopping in her tracks, she coughed to alert him. He shook himself awake, turning to face her. He let out a coy smile, “Astraea!”

She whipped a half-smile, “Kenny.”

Kenny Ackerman saved her. Her young, feeble mind wandered in the streets of the capital after her father died. After a month of living in that hell hole, Kenny came like a knight in shining armor. Kenny Ackerman in all his eccentricities managed to take in another child. But this time it was all out sheer impulsiveness, which he admitted to Astraea once.

Kenny was never a man to settle, only coming home whenever he wanted to assess her strength. In the first months, Astraea struggled to comply with what Kenny wanted. Fearing of losing the man that saved her, Astraea longed to please him and she sought to be the formidable weapon and able-bodied spy capable of wreaking havoc he wanted her to be.

But Kenny changed his mind and in just a year of training and feeding her, he took her to sign up for the military. She felt guilt when she failed Kenny so immediately after she graduated, Astraea tracked him down. Though Kenny Ackerman was a hard man to find but she did so with ease.

She laid down her hand to her chest and offered her expertise and skills for him to use.

He laughed at her face after she said that, what was a young lady like her to do in a dangerous world like the capital. He knew that she was a tough kid but never really thought much into it as she was not as tough as that other boy he managed to save. But Astraea persisted.

In just a week, he relented and contacted her for information he needed and she delivered.

Astraea, in the whole year she spent with him, never knew exactly what he did. But he was skilled in ODM gear and he was well connected. She didn’t do any application process when he signed her up for the cadet corps, all he did was drop her off and leave. It wasn’t until she became an MP had she found out that Kenny was a captain for a squad for the First Interior Squad, a notorious squad known for their anti-personnel tactics.

“Oi,” He called out. “Stop staring at me and sit.”

Just as she sat down, a server came and put food in front of them. Kenny wasted no time to gorge down the food served, Astraea hesitated. She took a moment to observe his face, he looked the same save for the greying shade on his chin. He wore his hat lowly and his collar unbuttoned, his coat was messily sprawled on the spare chair. It was only now that Astraea fully noted how old he really looked.

Astraea never knew much about Kenny, in the time they lived together, she was left to train on her own. But when he would come home, she was due for an evaluation. He trained her with ODM gear and hand to hand combat, while she read the books that were on Kenny’s desk.

“Eat up.” Kenny said as he drank to push down the food he was chewing on. “I ordered ahead ‘cos I didn’t want to wait too long.”

“Kenny,” Astraea cursed herself for stuttering. Kenny was not truly a bad man, there were just days that he scared her. There was no need to fear him, she reminded herself. “What did you call me for?”

Kenny swallowed, he wiped his mouth and chin with a napkin then cleared his throat, “Can’t a man just catch up with a young lady like you? Honestly, Astraea, I miss conversing with you.”

 _Conversing?_ That’s new. Astraea wanted to laugh. Kenny and her never really conversed. All they talked about was training, military, intel, but nothing of the mundane conversations. Astraea rolled her eyes in her mind, if he needed something he better come out and say it.

“How’s work?”

“It’s fine. I’m leaving for Trost tomorrow to fetch freshly graduated cadets.” She informed him, she took a bite out of her food, she noted that Kenny ordered for her . Kenny hummed in acknowledgment. “Why, is there something you wanted me to collect there or…”

“I don’t always seek you out for favors, Astraea.” Kenny reprimanded. Yes, you do.

“Yes, you do.” She spoke her thoughts. Kenny’s eyebrows rose up in interest, an amused smile painted on his face. Her fingers gripped her eating utensils tightly as she continued speaking. “You never call me to just ‘talk’, this is unlike you. Unless what you want is something more hard to...obtain.”

At this, Kenny laughed. He bellowed out a fucking laugh. Astraea grit her teeth, there it is. She knew that she brought this on, offering herself to be at his disposal should he need it. It was a debt she never knew how to pay, she wanted it.

“How perceptive of you. I’m impressed.” Kenny mused. He put his eating utensils down and stopped to scan her face. “But now that you mentioned it, I need information that concerns one of those...cadets. Call it luck, but, she happens to be in the Southern District.”

“You are certain that it is the Southern District? It could be anywhere, who told you that?” She wondered. It wasn't hard to get that information. “I thought it would be a least bit tricky.”

“It’s not, I just felt inclined to take you out for lunch.” Kenny leaned forward from his seat and looked at Astraea squarely in the eye, “No one important. No outright actions, I just need to know if she’s still a problem.”

Kenny explained in vague details about the cadet that Astraea needed to look out for. He didn’t specify as well what he needed from them. All he said was to report back with what regiment the cadet will pick.

“You leaving for Trost tomorrow is just my luck!” He said with a hint of glee in his tone. Astraea also moved to finish her food carefully watching as Kenny finished the last spoonful of his food and drank before continuing, “It’s like you are a magnet of luck, Astraea. Must be from that pretty name o’ yours.”

Magnet of luck, huh? She might be lucky. Lucky to have survived that fall of Wall Maria years ago, lucky to have not starved to death, lucky to have been saved. Astraea felt a sharp pang in her chest, often do people discredit her by claiming that she is lucky. She didn’t work hard to just be called lucky.

“Luck…” She whispered. She let go of her eating utensils and set her napkin on the table. Kenny was a good man but he was ruthless too, Astraea spent many nights wondering if she wanted an out now, will she get it? “I’m just lucky, huh?”

“Don’t take it too personally, Astraea.” Kenny dismissed. Despite himself, he knew Astraea well. Always a sensitive child, Kenny reminded himself, it took a while before Kenny was able to make her comply with what he needed her to become. “It’s a complim-.”

“Can you say the same for Levi?” She interrupted. Of course. Kenny always mentioned Levi to her, when he figured out how to goad her into unleashing her full potential, he never wasted time to make use of it. Perhaps, comparing Astraea to a faceless name was enough to raise an insecure woman.

Kenny’s expression changed. Her heart pounded. What was she getting so bold for? And mentioning Levi, at that. They never met but Kenny mentioned Levi plenty of times, he did more when he was asleep than awake. She always wondered who he was to him that Kenny was able to say that Levi is his…  
Pride and Joy.

“Do as you are told, Astraea. You’ve done so plenty of times without your insecurity getting in the way.” Kenny threatened, he slammed his palm on the table. Astraea’s eyes closed as Kenny continued to reprimand her. “Levi grew up just fine without me knowing what he’s up to. I don’t want to know and I don’t care.”

“He’s in the Scouts.”

Astraea shrank in her seat.

“They call him,” She swallowed. She looked at him straight in the eye, ignoring the way her knees buckled in fear. “Humanity’s Greatest Soldier. What is in him that makes him so special?”

Was she jealous of Levi? Or was she looking for something to make Kenny hate her so much. Astraea racked her brain for reason for her impulsiveness, perhaps she just wanted to gauge Kenny’s reaction. She was confused, she honestly didn’t know what she wanted.

“You know, I thought we could have a normal lunch-.”

“You called me in for a favor.” Astraea exclaimed incredulously.

He laughed, “A favor?” He threw his head laughing as Astraea tightened her fist. “Don’t make me laugh! I thought you wanted this? You wanted to make yourself useful to me, of all people! I didn’t want to do anything with you and yet, there you were…”

Astraea’s breath started to pick up, her heart threatened to come out of her chest. He was lying. She craved the feeling of being needed. Maybe she wanted to have that bond with Kenny, maybe she craved that high regard from Kenny…

“Stop using other people as reasons for your insecurity, Astraea. It’s not cute.” Kenny said mournfully. He started to stand up. He wore his coat and placed his hat squarely on his head. He gave her that gaze that was so familiar to her, disappointment, before muttering darkly. “You need to own up to your own problems, not blame them on someone else.”

As he left, he seemed to have dragged all the air out with him. Astraea was left clutching at her chest, heaving. Her resolve shattered, she craved for something she has barely an idea of. Her heart threatened to burst from her chest as she watched Kenny’s retreating figure.


End file.
